Run out of ideas? Easy, fresh ways to play
Every couple hits a rut. Simple, judgement-free ideas to shake things up, from a yes/no/maybe list to soft restraint and sensation play.
Every couple hits a rut: same night, same moves, same order. It isn’t a sign anything is wrong. It usually just means you’re comfortable, and comfort is a great place to try something new from.
The short version
- Change one thing: the place, the time, the pace or who leads.
- Fill in a yes / no / maybe list each and only compare the overlaps.
- Add one prop: a blindfold, massage oil or a small toy.
Ideas that actually work
Swap one thing
Try mornings instead of nights, a different room, half the speed, or swap who leads. Small changes feel surprisingly new.
Make a yes / no / maybe list
Each of you privately marks ideas as yes, no or maybe, then share only the overlaps. It’s a low-risk way to discover shared curiosities. Any “no” is final; that’s consent and respecting limits.
Play with the senses
Take one sense away with a blindfold and touch feels stronger. Add warm massage oil, a feather-light touch or music. That’s sensation play.
Try light restraint
Soft ties or clip-on cuffs are an easy first step. Agree a safe word, start soft and short, and check in afterwards. Our bondage hub keeps it gentle.
Build anticipation
Flirt by message during the day, plan a date night, or wear something new under your clothes. Desire likes a slow build.
Start an idea jar
Each of you writes ideas on slips of paper and adds them to a jar. Pull one out on date night. It’s free, and you’ll learn a lot from what goes in.
Products that can genuinely help
One new prop is plenty. Pick the one that matches the idea you’re most curious about.
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So Divine Silk Clip-on Bondage Restraints (Black)
Why it can help: A soft, pretty first step into restraint. Agree a safe word first.
For the curious What it’s for: Soft clip-on ties for gentle, consensual restraint.
- Price
- ££ £23.99 (was £31.99) · Price checked 11 Oct 2026
- Retailer
- So Divine
- Silky cuffs for wrists or ankles (per the listing)
- Agree a safe word before you start
So Divine Sandalwood & Fig Sensual Massage Oil
Why it can help: Slow massage is the easiest new idea there is.
Good for beginners What it’s for: Slow, skin-on-skin massage: an unhurried way to start.
- Price
- £ £9.99
- Retailer
- So Divine
- Scented with fig and sandalwood (per the listing)
- For massage on the skin; keep oils away from latex condoms
So Divine Duet 2in1 Multiway Rechargeable Couples Vibrator
Why it can help: Two kinds of stimulation in one toy, so you can try a few ideas together and find a favourite.
For couples What it’s for: A couples’ vibrator with a shaft and an external stimulator, made to use together.
- Price
- ££ £44.99 · Price checked 11 Oct 2026
- Retailer
- So Divine
- Vibrating shaft plus external stimulator
- 20 functions
- Rechargeable
So Divine Self-pleasure 2in1 Rechargeable Finger & Bullet Vibrator
Why it can help: Tiny and easy to bring into what you already do.
For couples What it’s for: Slips over a finger to add precise buzz during partnered play.
- Price
- £ £22.49 (was £29.99) · Price checked 11 Oct 2026
- Retailer
- So Divine
- Fits over a finger
- Removable bullet, 10 functions
- For external play, solo or with a partner
Also on our shortlists
- Lovehoney Oh! Get Started Tie & Tease Kit: silky restraints, a blindfold and a tickler (Bondage-lite starters)
- Bondage Boutique Soft Blindfold: maximum anticipation, minimum kit (Bondage-lite starters)
- LELO Flickering Touch Massage Candle: a slow, tactile opening to a night in (Couples extras)
Running out of ideas? Sometimes it helps to borrow someone else’s story first. Frolicme is a women-led members’ library of ethical erotic films, audio and stories, made for women and couples. Paid membership, 18+ only.
Questions people ask
How do I suggest something new without it sounding like criticism?
Frame it as adding, not fixing: “I’ve been thinking about trying…” or “Would you be up for…?” Bring it up outside the bedroom and make “no” an easy answer.
What’s an easy first step into kink?
A blindfold or soft ties, with a safe word agreed first. Start slow, check in often and talk afterwards.
What if we want different things?
That’s normal. Focus on the overlaps from your yes / no / maybe lists, and treat every “no” as final.
When to see your GP or a sexual health clinic
- Sex has become painful or uncomfortable. A GP or sexual health clinic can help find out why.
- A drop in desire is worrying you. The NHS advises seeing a GP if you’re worried about a low sex drive.
- You keep ending up in the same arguments. A relationship counsellor or sex therapist can help you both.
Trusted help: NHS: Low sex drive (loss of libido) · NHS: Find a sexual health clinic · Relate: Relationship counselling · Relate: Sex therapy
This guide is general information, not medical advice. A GP can discuss options with you.
Keep reading
Bondage-lite starters · Couples extras · Massage oils · Couples vibrators
More from Fix it
Low desire & lost spark · Mismatched libidos · All Fix it guides
Words in this guide
Sensation play · Safe word · Limits · Consent · Restraints · Blindfold · A–Z glossary
