The A–Z glossary

Plain-English definitions of the words you’ll meet on this site, from lingerie styles to toy types and the basics of kink. No judgement and no jargon left unexplained. New here? Start here.

A

Aftercare
The care you give each other after sex or kink: a cuddle, water, a blanket, a quiet check-in about how it felt. It also means cleaning and drying your toys afterwards.
Air-pulse toy
Another name for a suction toy.
Anal beads
A string of beads for anal play, usually removed slowly. Use plenty of lube and choose a design with a sturdy retrieval ring.

B

Babydoll
A short, floaty nightie that falls loosely from under the bust, often sheer or trimmed with lace.
Balconette
A bra with lower, wider-cut cups and straps set further apart. It lifts and rounds, and suits square and wide necklines.
Basque
A fitted lingerie top that shapes from bust to waist or hip, often with suspender clips. Longer than a bustier.
BDSM
An umbrella term for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It is built on consent: agreed limits, a safe word and aftercare.
Blindfold
A soft mask that blocks your sight, so touch, sound and anticipation feel stronger. An easy first step into sensation play.
Body (bodysuit)
A one-piece that covers the torso and fastens at the crotch: top and knickers in one. Lingerie bodies are often lace or mesh.
Body-safe
Toy materials that are non-porous and easy to clean thoroughly, such as silicone, glass, stainless steel and hard ABS plastic.
Bondage
Restraining a partner with ties, cuffs or tape for the feeling of surrender. Start soft, with silk ties or cuffs that release quickly, and never restrain anyone around the neck.
Bralette
A soft bra with little or no structure, usually without wires or heavy padding. It is about comfort and looks rather than lift.
Brief
Knickers with fuller coverage at the front and back. Easier to buy as a gift than a bra, because sizing is simpler.
Bullet vibrator
A small, bullet-shaped vibrator for external use. Quiet, discreet and simple to use, which makes it a common first toy.
Bustier
A short, corset-style top that lifts the bust and shapes to the waist.
Butt plug
A toy worn in the anus for a feeling of fullness. It must have a flared base so it cannot slip in too far. Use plenty of lube.

C

Clitoral stimulator
Any toy designed mainly for the clitoris, such as a bullet, suction toy or wand.
Cock ring
A stretchy or adjustable ring worn at the base of the penis to make an erection feel firmer and fuller. Vibrating versions add sensation for both partners. Take it off if it feels uncomfortable or numb, and follow the maker’s guidance on how long to wear it.
A clear, freely given yes, which can be changed to a no at any time. Enthusiastic beats reluctant, and silence is not consent.
Corset
A boned garment that cinches the waist and shapes the torso. It is more structured than a basque.
Couples vibrator
A vibrator designed to be worn or shared during sex, often U-shaped, so you both feel the vibration. Many have a remote or an app.
Crotchless
Knickers or tights with an opening at the crotch, so they can stay on.

D

Dildo
A non-vibrating shaft for penetration. For anal play, it must have a flared base.
Dual stimulation
Internal and external stimulation at the same time. Also called blended. A rabbit is the classic example.

E

Edging
Bringing yourself or a partner close to orgasm, easing off and repeating, to build intensity.

F

Finger vibrator
A tiny vibrator that slips over a finger for precise external touch, solo or with a partner.
French knickers
Loose, short-style knickers with a wider leg, often in satin or silk.

G

G-spot vibrator
A vibrator with a curved tip, angled to reach the front wall of the vagina.

H

Hybrid lube
A blend of water-based and silicone lube. It lasts longer than water-based but is easier to wash off than silicone. Check the label for toy and condom compatibility.

K

Kegel balls
Weighted balls worn inside the vagina, often used as part of pelvic-floor exercises and for gentle sensation. Choose a set with a retrieval cord.
Kink
Sexual interests outside the conventional, from blindfolds to role-play. Kink is consensual by definition.

L

Limits
What is on and off the table. Hard limits are a firm no; soft limits are things you might explore carefully. Talk about them before you play.
Love egg
A small, egg-shaped vibrator worn inside, often with a remote so a partner can control it.
Lube
A liquid or gel that reduces friction, so sex and play feel smoother and more comfortable. It is for everyone, not just for “problems”. See water-based, silicone-based, oil-based and hybrid.

M

Male masturbator
A soft, textured sleeve or stroker for the penis. Manual versions are simple; powered versions add vibration or movement. Also called a stroker or sleeve.
Massage candle
A candle that melts into warm oil you can use for massage. Blow it out and test the temperature on your wrist before pouring.
Mulberry silk
Silk from silkworms fed on mulberry leaves. It is smooth and soft, which is why it is used for ties, eye masks and robes.

N

Non-porous
A material with no tiny holes for bacteria to hide in, so it can be fully cleaned. Silicone, glass and steel are non-porous.

O

Oil-based lube
Long-lasting and great for massage, but it breaks down latex condoms. Never use it with latex.

P

Plunge bra
A bra with a low, deep V at the centre, made for V-necks and cleavage.
Porous materials
Softer, cheaper toy materials such as jelly, TPE or “cyberskin”. They are harder to clean fully, so they are best used with a condom and replaced sooner.
Prostate massager
A curved toy for internal prostate stimulation, with a flared base for safety. Use plenty of lube.
Push-up
Padding inside the cups that lifts the bust and adds cleavage.

R

Rabbit vibrator
A vibrator with an internal shaft and external “ears” for the clitoris, giving dual stimulation.
Remote-control toy
A toy controlled by a handheld remote or a phone app, so a partner can take charge, in the same room or from far away.
Restraints
Cuffs, ties or straps that hold wrists or ankles. For a first try, choose soft materials that release quickly.

S

Safe word
A word agreed in advance that means stop now, chosen so it will not come up by accident. Many people use “red” to stop and “amber” to slow down.
Sensation play
Exploring different sensations, such as feathers, ice, warmth or a blindfold, to make touch feel new.
Silicone (toy material)
The go-to toy material: body-safe, non-porous, soft and easy to clean. Pair silicone toys with water-based lube.
Silicone-based lube
Long-lasting, slippery and good in water, and safe with latex condoms. It can damage silicone toys, so use water-based lube with those, or patch-test first.
Strapless bra
A bra built to stay up without straps, using a firmer band and grippy edging. Made for bare-shoulder outfits.
Suction toy
A clitoral toy that uses pulses of air or suction instead of direct vibration. Also called an air-pulse toy, and a popular first toy.
Suspenders
The straps that clip onto stockings to hold them up, usually attached to a suspender belt or basque. Called garters in the US.

T

Teddy
A one-piece lingerie piece combining a top and knickers. It is looser and more floaty than a body.
Thong
Knickers with minimal back coverage, so no visible knicker line.
Thrusting vibrator
A vibrator whose shaft moves in and out on its own. Often built as a rabbit.
Toy cleaner
A spray or foam made for cleaning toys before and after use. Warm water and a mild, unscented soap work for most non-porous toys too.

U

Underwired
A bra with a wire under each cup for support and lift. Non-wired (wire-free) bras are softer.

V

Vanilla
Sex without kink. It is not a criticism; plenty of people love it.

W

Wand vibrator
A larger vibrator with a rounded head and deep, rumbly vibration, mainly for external use and massage.
Water-based lube
The safe all-rounder: it works with every toy material and with condoms, and washes off easily. You may need to reapply it.

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